CW: heavy discussion of domestic violence
It seems that every few months, we have the same conversation about intergender wrestling. Usually it’s in response to an intergender match that has recently occurred or it’s a woman calling out a man and challenging him to a match. Whatever the cause of the discussion, it’s usually wild and wrought with rampant misogyny. So as we go through it again, I thought I would address the main point that always seems to pop up, which is that intergender wrestling simulates domestic violence.
Obviously domestic violence is bad but there are two big problems with this false equivalency.
Wrestling is a sport that requires constant consent; consent to the agreed upon rules, consent to the environment, and consent to any weapons or spots used. In fact, if you remove consent from the equation, wrestling is really just felonious assault. Wrestlers literally trust each other with their bodies and lives. If someone chooses to go off the reservation, that is generally frowned upon because their opponent could get really hurt because something is happening that they were not aware of and could not prepare for.
On the contrary, domestic violence is decidedly nonconsensual. One partner is taking physical advantage of the other and hurting them in ways that they don’t want. Many victims don’t feel safe enough to disclose their circumstances and some even die at the hands of their abusers. We cannot in good consciousness compare pre-determined scripted fights to actual domestic abuse situations. They are not the same.
Another problem with this comparison is that it assumes that domestic violence can only occur in different-sex couples. Same-sex couples experience domestic violence as well and stigma keeps a lot of victims from coming forward or even realizing that they are indeed experiencing domestic violence. Also under this logic, same-sex wrestling matches (and thus the majority of wrestling matches) simulate domestic violence too.
It’s great that we’re all expressing concern for domestic violence, even though I suspect some fans’ concern is less about the victims and more about silencing people who want to see intergender wrestling. However many of us are adults and have critical thinking skills. The curtain has long been pulled back from the wrestling business and we know just how much trust and consent go into putting on a great match. Let’s start thinking more about in-ring chemistry and less about the performers’ genitals.
