Opener
Raw is in Albany and the crowd is hot after the controversial finish of Money In The Bank. I hated the finish with a passion. Money In The Bank should be for someone deserving and up and coming, not someone who doesn’t even show up most of the time, tanked the ratings in the long run & wasn’t even in the match that nearly killed everyone in it until the last 5 minutes..so, naturally, Brock Lesnar kicks off Raw. “The Beast In The Bank” as Cole put it. Literally nobody wants it. Everyone is booing, I can’t hear a single cheer.
Paul Heyman explained that they took advantage of Sami Zayn being attacked, basically they’re effectively saying Lesnar didn’t attack Zayn either, Heyman said everyone thinks he did so they may as well blame him for the JFK assassination, so the fans did.. it was pretty funny. But Heyman then moves to paranoia and saying Lesnar has that power over Kofi & Seth. He said they should be scared, but then Seth Rollins comes out and says he should be feeling good because he had a great match with Styles last night, but he isn’t in a good mood because he has to see Lesnar with the briefcase. He said he is trying to be the champion that inspires people, the champion that Lesnar “never had the guts to be” but he can’t do that with Lesnar holding the case over his head, so he lays down the challenge that Lesnar cashes in and they have the match for the title right now, which the crowd went absolutely crazy for, so it obviously didn’t happen. Heyman said we have to wait until Lesnar wants to. Rollins and Lesnar push eachother.. then Heyman says he may want to face Kofi Kingston instead, so Kofi comes out.. 3 weeks in a row that Kofi has been a Wild Card.. 3 weeks. Kofi says that when his reign ends, he wants to be remembered as one of the best WWE champions of all time, so he wants to defend the title as often as he can, so Kofi challenges Brock to cash it in on him. Heyman says that both Rollins and Kingston are in action later according to his sources so Lesnar and the contract aren’t going anywhere. So, I’m guessing this is for this week only. This was an okay segment in terms of promo ability.. Lesnar just laughed and scoffed at both Rollins and Kingston, whilst also very clearly winding the crowd up intentionally. But overall I still hate this angle with every fibre of my being. Brock Lesnar is not fun in a championship feud anymore. It’s boring and it really kills the crowd, but in a non-title feud based off of being the “Alpha”.. like a feud with Drew McIntyre or maybe that Bobby Lashley feud we never got. Even Braun Strowman again could be cool, but if you’re not full-time, you shouldn’t be anywhere near the highest ranking championship in my opinion. – what did he do to deserve this? How many days and nights has he spent away from his family working on the road like Ali has? Or Drew McIntyre? Or, frankly, literally anyone else who was in the damn match! Brock Lesnar kills WWE for me. Always has when he’s involved in championships. I was really hoping Ali would be a Wild Card and come challenge him for the briefcase and somehow win, but that would be too good. Vince obviously just really needs his fix of big muscly men with a crew-cut at this time of year. Summerslam is on the horizon after all.
1/5 🌟
(Authors Note: The signal for Sky Sports Arena was horrific during the first hour and nothing was done until an hour was up, so I actually missed much of what was done there, however it wasn’t anything massively important it seems)
Braun Strowman vs Sami Zayn
Braun chased Sami all around the arena, carried him back to the ring like a naughty child and then Powerslams him for a 3 count.
2/5🌟
Lars Sullivan promo
Seriously cannot believe he is not getting suspended or anything. He was asked what his intentions are in WWE but before he could answer, Lucha House Party come out and beat him, Kalisto was wallopping him a good’un too! Lars started to fight back but LHP got away intact.
I’m conflicted in rating this due to a moral dilemma. On one hand, Lars Sullivan is a piece of crap that deserves to be held accountable for the things he has said and done and I can not rate anything he’s a part of, bit on the other hand, Lucha House Party did really well here and they deserve a good mention. So LHP can have 3🌟 Lars won’t get any because he’s a Xenophobic piece of crap.
Ricochet vs Cesaro
This match was incredible but too short! Despite the advert for A Secret Life Of Pets 2 that aired during the match with a tiny window in the corner still showing the match.. I just love it when they do that. It really shows they care about the match taking place. Ricochet was like a supernatural being in this one until he got smashed with crazy uppercut in mid air, and then a Neutralizer for the win! Cesaro has new music too! It’s really awesome. I like it. If this is a feud beginning between them I am all for that! I’d be so excited for that!
4/5 🌟
AJ Styles backstage
He says he can beat Rollins, just not this time. Corbin interupts him and says that he beat Rollins on Raw which Styles couldn’t do, so it was a slap in the face that Styles got it over him.. So Styles says it wasn’t a slap in the face “this is!” Then slaps him.. Corbin just laughs at him and says Styles will pay for that one. Planting seeds is always good.
2.5/5 🌟
Roman Reigns promo
Literally the same Wild Cards every week. This is why you’re failing, WWE. AEW cannot come quick enough at this stage.
Reigns is getting booed. 2nd week straight.. people are souring on him already. Shane McMahon comes out & heels it up on his win last night over The Miz. He says Reigns is his focus now.. So Reigns challenges him. Shane gives it to the audience to decide, they said yes & he pretended to accept.. Then said it’s not happening. In case we needed further clarification, Vince changed his mind on listening to us. What a surprise.
We learn that Elias is Shane’s lapdog on SmackDown Live & Drew McIntyre is his lacky on Raw. Reigns will also face Shane McMahon at Super Showdown.. hosted in the country no one is allowed to mention for obvious.. murderous reasons. Gross.
1/5🌟
The Usos vs The Revival
The 2 very best tag teams in WWE clash one on one for the first time ever. This should be excellent. Despite the juvenile & pathetic story thus far, simply because Vince finds it funny.. Revival start with some cheap shots..
The Revival were killing it! Everyone was invested in this one. It was great! Tag Team wrestling at its finest and The Revival actually won!! Pulling the tights, but still won! 1-0 Top Guys!
They celebrated after by interrupting Alexa being manipulative toward Nikki Cross and berating her for losing the match last night and not winning the MITB. It was really funny.
4/5🌟
Firefly Funhouse
The best thing about Raw right now. Last week this incredibly intricate story unfolded to where we saw a new Bray Wyatt in his beautifully hideous mask.. But this week was just a creepy advertisement. It flashed kids on the screen with “Let me in” written on their heads. Still was awesome..
3/5 🌟
A Moment of Bliss
Nikki Cross and Alexa are there and have some comedic shenanigans, then Lynch comes out and got a bit of sass from Bliss, the IIconics then came out and said they still have their 2 belts, Becky challenges them to a Match, but then Lacey Evans comes out and gloats to us how she cost Becky the moniker of ‘Becky 2 Belts’ – so Becky officially confirms she’s full-time on Raw now and challenges Lacey & The IIconics to a handicap match. They all laugh & then Nikki says she’ll be Becky’s partner and she got a pop.. Lacey says they’re still one short and Becky says Alexa “will do”. Alexa protests and says she didn’t agree but Becky says she just needs to stand there and look pretty and “The Man will do the rest” – this was really well put together. It was funny and surprising and adding Alexa taking her coffee mug to the ring and sipping it on the way was just comedic gold.
4/5🌟
Lacey Evans & The IIconics vs Becky Lynch, Nikki Cross & Alexa Bliss
There was a cameraman who was stood right under Peyton Royce’s behind and kept looking up, he was leaning on the apron in two shots too. He disappeared pretty quickly after that.
I am a huge fan of all the women involved in this match, Lacey Evans more recently. But Lacey Evans is original & that’s exciting. She ditched her tag partners though and then left up the ramp, Becky won after a Middle Rope Leg Drop which I’ve never seen her win from, a top rope one sure, but a Middle Rope variation? Interesting. She refused a hand raising moment with Bliss and Cross though and made her way up the ramp.
2.5/5🌟
Mick Foley Unveils A New Championship
I thought this was going to be something truly game-changing, he was talking of the old days and saying he wants Raw to become Raw again. He presents the 24/7 title.. basically the Hardcore title is back but not called the Hardcore title.. He said the 3rd hour of Raw is going to get nasty and mean.. He lays it down and says someone come and get it.. They said it’s always open to everyone on Raw, SmackDown, 205 Live, NXT & NXT UK! I like this! We had EC3, Eric Young, Cedric Alexander, Titus O’Neil, The Good Brothers, No Way José & more all scrambling to get it but Titus got it in the end, for all of 10 seconds when Robert Roode rolled him up on the ramp! I love this, guys. I thought it would be awful, but I effing love this! What a way to utilise the mid-card! Screw the Wild Card rule, this was all we needed.. it’s eligible to anyone, so people from any brand can come to try to get it! I know it’s not what everyone anticipated but it’s new and it’s something they can really riff off of! Especially with Vince McMahon and his ever-changing mind!
5/5🌟
The Miz vs Drew McIntyre w/ Shane McMahon
This was a really cool match between two of the top guys in WWE today! Adding Shane to the mix is smart too given the story with Miz.
There was a really cool balance of spots and loads of new offense from Miz too! Hurricanrana, dangerous bumps and the man even did a bloody Springboard Axe-Handle! He kicked Drew’s ass! But Miz got distracted by McMahon and got blindsided and Claymored. But man, this was a Hell of a showing from Miz!
3/5 🌟
24/7 Title stuff
New 24/7 Champion, Robert Roode, is running backstage and being chased by 10 or so superstars including Drake Maverick, Lashley & Corbin look like they have no idea what’s going on..
3/5 🌟 constant coverage is really cool! It makes it feel important, which is exactly what you want with a new Championship!
Samoa Joe Selfie Promo
Joe is excellent at talking. He says Rey needs to set the right example for Dominic and hand his title back to him. Because if he doesn’t, Joe will have to set a different example. That will unfold next week. Loved this. Love Joe. Love Mysterio. I can see this being a feud spanning to Summerslam. Dominic vs Joe?
3/5 🌟 Joe is an excellent talker and this feud has been good so far I think. Matches are too short, but they’re decent for the story. It’ll be interesting to see what happens now.
24/7 Championship Shenanigans
Robert Roode ran to R Truth in the parking lot who hid him in his car boot until everyone chasing him left.. Then truth got him out and helped him to the car door, hut when Roode opened the drivers side door, a Referee was in there and Truth jumped Roode and won the title! He then drove away in the car! This was excellent! Congratulations to the NEW 24/7 Champion, R-Truth! That was funny. Reminded me of when Molly Holly won the Hardcore Title back in the early 00’s. Maybe this title isn’t gender specific either!?
5/5🌟
No DQ match – Kofi Kingston & Seth Rollins vs Bobby Lashley & Baron Corbin
Aaand I can almost hear the TV channel being switched off across the world. They waited until now to announce the team facing the world champs.
Ugh. No 👏🏻 one 👏🏻 wants 👏🏻 Corbin & Lashley in the main event in a tag match! That’s not a main event. Even under no disqualification rules it’s still just the same thing we’ve gotten week after week after week! It was not at all what the audience wanted either as they were noticeably disinterested. It wasn’t horrible, but it was no Ricochet vs Cesaro or Seth Rollins vs Andrade or something awesome like that. After Kofi Kingston won with a kick to the face Lashley spears both Rollins & Kingston. Brock appears and teases a cash-in but as Lesnar is facing Rollins at Super Showdown it stands to reason that next week he will announce that. What an utter waste.
1.5/5 🌟
Conclusion
48.5/80 🌟
Smark Score: 61%/100%
Actually 60.625% but I round up from a .5. Well, its a whole 3.5% better than last week which seems better, but with 3 less segments this week it’s not that impressive at all. This week it wasn’t stupid, it wasn’t lazy and it wasn’t awful, but was more just really deflating. Like there’s absolutely zero hope left for a really consistent series of episodes of Raw anymore. Bray Wyatt is exciting, but this week felt like they’d forgotten to record one so just wrote some words on some kids’ heads and flashed images from last week’s episode over it. But still.. I’m remaining supportive because I love Bray Wyatt and I want to see him succeed. Plus this is all Bray’s own writing and creativity according to the leaked report from a WWE Writer. The potential programme with Ricochet and Cesaro is exciting and the 24/7 Championship is a game-changer for sure, but other than that.. meh. Aside from those things, the stuff was okay and entertaining enough but.. it’s just “enough” and honestly “just enough” simply won’t do anymore. Double or Nothing is a stone’s throw away and AEW are gonna bring it all. I know they claim to not be worried and WWE held a meeting last week where Stephanie adressed AEW as their competition. This is no time to piss on the fans that keep your company alive, Mr. McMahon. Enough is enough. The wasted MITB briefcases years over, the burial of Sami Zayn now that it was revealed his promo work was Vince speaking to us through him. Not to mention the constant use of the same “Wild Card picks” which, to be real, it’s not “Wild” is it? Nothing remotely “Wild” about it! It could have been and it still could be, but right now it’s not even slightly wild. It’s more of an old, slow, domesticated pet on it’s last legs. Might as well officially dub it the “Mild Card” on here.
Not the best and usually that’s acceptable because a lot of us don’t have an alternative. But I’m certain that unless they change really, really soon, they’ll lose many regular viewers to AEW and a lot, if not all casual viewers. But it is their funeral I suppose.
Superstar of the Night
I don’t really have one this week. Sorry.
