With a card that looked varied, yet interesting, on paper, I was looking forward to checking out Boner Jam IV, the latest in the great tradition (I can only assume) of Boner Jam events.
Werewolf of Wall Street versus Tony Deppen versus Jigsaw versus Sanchez
What I know: I liked what I saw of Deppen at last years’ Wrestlemania Weekend, whilst I enjoyed Jigsaw and Sanchez’s work when I followed CHIKARA several years ago.
Match: The scramble nature of this match worked in its favour as each man was able to get in, hit their moves, take a bump and roll back outside to keep the pace up. A double rana by Sanchez is neat, if executed poorly, before the Werewolf nailed Deppen and Jigsaw with a top rope crossbody. This sparked the ‘flying section’ of the contest as Sanchez, Werewolf and Jigsaw took to the sky. Deppen was fired up on offense, almost getting the win with a slingshot lungblower. However, Sanchez picked up the victory with a knee to Deppen’s face and a tight cradle.
Verdict: A fun opening contest, though the least of the wrestlers in the match was victorious.
Daniel Makabe versus Jonathon Rukin
What I know: I’ve heard lots about how good Makabe is, but this is my first chance seeing him. Never heard of Rukin whatsoever.
Match: One way to get people engaged in your match is to open it with a suicide dive, which Makabe subsequently does to send Rukin almost into the third row. What followed was some uncompromising strike exchanges amidst a give and take tussle between two wrestlers who looked to impress. The two men also traded submissions, including battling over STFs before Makabe almost turned a kimura from Rukin into a pinfall. Rukin grabbed the submission with a rear naked choke in a match that was hard fought throughout.
Verdict: I liked what I saw of both men. Shortish, but allowed both men to hit hard and fast through the duration.
The Gym Nasty Boys (Timmy Lou Retton/White Mike) versus Team Tremendous (Bill Carr/Dan Barry)
What I know: I liked enough of what I saw from Team Tremendous at ‘Does Funny = Money?’ to look forward to this contest. I like the look of the Gym Nasty Boys as well, though I’ve never heard of them before.
Match: A nice mix of athleticism (Retton/Barry) and comedy (Mike/Carr) had the crowd on board from the get go. Retton in particular impressed with a cartwheel avalanche on Carr that belied his size. Carr was allowed to go on a rampage late on as the match broke down, landing multiple shoulderblocks and a sidewalk slam, before following Retton and Barry with a tope con hilo over the top! However, it was the Boys who picked up the win moments later with the Backeotomy (sp?) uranage/backstabber combination.
Verdict: Loved it. Two teams I’ll definitely check out more from.
Falls Count Everywhere Match for the ISW Falls Count Everywhere Championship: Sexxxy Eddy © versus Swoggle
What I know: I’m probably more intrigued about this Swoggle match than a lot of the others that seem to just be a study in torture porn, if only because Eddy appears to be as much about comedy as anything else.
Match: Somewhat hilariously, Swoggle ended up getting tripped up by an audience member during his entrance. Swoggle actually controlled the early portion of brawling around the ring, whilst the two men also drank a shot each with each other, but as the match returned inside the ropes, Eddy stomped multiple times on Swoggle’s groin. This led to turnabout being fair play in some Swoggle low blows to set up some German suplexes by the King of Small Style! Sadly, the ref was bumped as Eddy sent Swoggle into him, eventually allowing him to hit a belt shot for the win.
Verdict: Ridiculous, of course. What else did we expect?
Food Fight Invitational – Pasquale the Chef/Bastian Snow/Nelson Pereira/Kyle Zachary/Shawn Rice/The Red Eagle/The Craigslist Homo/Glaad Bad/Super Beetle/Boris the Bear/Steven ‘The Turtle’ Weiner/The Dumb Fucks/Sean Henderson/Tyler Murphy/The Trashman/Terra Callaway
What I know: Literally nothing.
Match: When the first two moves are a baguette to the head and a chip-chair-to, you are in for an interesting contest. The chips continued to fly as the ring filled up with wrestlers, each bringing their own weapon such as the Eagle bringing out pineapples that eventually got used like a cheese grater in a death match. The Turtle’s arrival saw him get jumped by the Dumb Fucks, who also joined the contest. Henderson tried to turn things into a wrestling match with some suplexes as he entered, almost squashing some unaware wrestlers in the process. Now everyone was in, eliminations began in earnest. A particular highlight was a leap by Henderson into a Code Red on Boris, before Snow was eliminated with a 3D through a RAMEN NOODLE table. Henderson, probably the standout of the contest, finished off Callaway with a superkick for the win.
Verdict: I spent most of my time trying to work out if I’d heard half of the names correctly. I guess it very much pays tribute to the rich tapestry of independent wrestling and what passes for wrestling in some quarters.
Fluffy the Killer Bunny versus Leon St. Giovanni
What I know: LSG has been in wXw recently and impressed, but this is a much different Giovanni than the one who wrestled as one part of Coast2Coast.
Match: LSG made a poor choice by kicking FKB’s piñata bunny head (yes, I just wrote that) and was stalked by his much bigger opponent. He used it to his advantage though as he began to hit and move, including sending the Bunny into the ringpost. You have the interesting set up of the Killer Bunny being the fan favourite and as soon as he grabbed LSG, the hurting began with a running belly to back suplex and a spinebuster. Worst for LSG was the Killer Bunny ripping his fake moustache off! A miscommunication with his manager, including an errant whip shot, cost LSG as the Bunny won with a pop-up powerbomb.
Verdict: Not going to win any Match of the Year contests, but enjoyed it for what it was worth.
The Ugly Ducklings (Lance Lude/Rob Killjoy) versus The Butcher and the Blade (Andy Williams/Pepper Parks)
What I know: Haven’t seen any of these guys before, though I love the look of the Butcher and the Blade. I do, however, own a couple of Every Time I Die albums.
Match: A size versus speed contest, highlighted in the early going by Williams’ power offense and a unique flipping combination by the Ducklings on Parks that included a Killjoy standing moonsault. Quick tags allowed the Butcher and the Blade to work over Lude with chops as well as a stunner by Parks. This builds to Killjoy getting the hot tag and taking the battle to both Williams and Parks, wiping out Williams at ringside with an Arabian Press before hitting dual dives alongside Lude. A unique, if slightly sloppily executed, spot saw Williams catch an assisted cannonball, spiking Killjoy on Lude with a powerbomb. After taking out Coach Mikey who attempted to save his Ducklings, a suplex into a backstabber was enough for the win.
Verdict: I really enjoyed this match, especially the impressive power offense and double teams by the Butcher and the Blade.
Chris Brookes versus Chris Dickinson
What I know: I’ve seen Brookes live several times, whilst Dickinson was someone who I got to view a couple of times last Wrestlemania Weekender. He always makes me feel a little bit dirty for watching him if I’m totally honest.
Match: Dickinson played face as Brookes begged off early, patronisingly tapped Dickinson on the head after outgrappling him, and wandered backstage to escape Dickinson. This ended up taking the match into the fans as they brawled across and into the chairs. The heeling continued with Brookes distracting the ref long enough for Lykos to get in some licks, including a suicide dive. A DVD on Brookes and a gutwrench suplex on Lykos had the crowd fully behind Dickinson, whilst a clothesline almost decapitated Brookes. Once more, Lykos got involved, but this time the referee got rid of him with a low blow. A shining wizard finished off Brookes as Dickinson picked up the win.
Verdict: Too much messing around with Lykos for my liking, though I enjoyed some of Dickinson’s work from underneath.
Fans Bring The Brightly Coloured Blocks Death Match for the Inter Species Championship: Jeff Cannonball versus Nick Gage versus Matt Tremont versus Addy Starr ©
What I know: Since he left jail, I’ve caught more Gage than I ever did before and liked his aura as much as anything else. The other three are all new to me.
Match: Starr opened the contest by putting Cannonball through a door that had Lego taped to it to set the tone from the first bell, before Tremont and Cannonball busted each other open with multiple headbutts in a row. Gage had no problem taking the fight to Starr, though she broke another door with an exploder suplex on the man who preaches MDK. A raft of moves landed on the Legos in the middle of the ring in ever cringe inducing fashion with Gage landing a particularly nasty swinging neckbreaker. The camera also almost missed Gage hitting a brainbuster onto a chair on Cannonball – no mean feat. Things continued to escalate as Starr powerbombed Cannonball through a plastic box, but she was unable to defend her title as Tremont picked up the win with a splash off of the top rope.
Verdict: Wild and woolly – just what you’d expect.
What I know now: ISW offered a legitimately entertaining show that presented an array of different wrestling styles. Not every match was a classic, but at just over two hours, it was a show that flew along and offered something for everyone.
Best match: The Ugly Ducklings versus The Butcher and the Blade/Team Tremendous versus The Gym Nasty Boys
Less good: Probably has to be Sexxxy Eddy versus Swoggle by default really.
