“The worst episode of RAW I’ve ever seen”
Opener
Vince McMahon kicks off Raw this week. Vince welcomes us and says tonight will be one no one forgets. But Roman Reigns’ music hits and it turns out that he really is on Raw and the brand split is getting shot in the back of the head. But why is Roman on Raw you ask? Aside from the fact that Vince has no sense of continuity anymore, obviously, he’s here to warn McMahon not to talk to him in a gnarly tone and say he isn’t listening to him anymore.. he calls out McMahon for not being true to his word on us being the Authority, fair play to Roman on that, he continued by saying it was all a farce and McMahon has had his kids running around ruining the company, which is not entirely true as I believe his kids & his son-in-law would absolutely revitalise the company if Vince backed off and retired, but Roman says he’s going to show up every single Monday if that’s what it takes because he doesn’t answer to the McMahons anymore, he apparently answers to the WWE Universe now. Just as Vince begins to respond, we have the return of Daniel Bryan, which was nice but.. why?? He’s a SmackDown guy! So.. he comes out to say he was robbed at Wrestlemania and run down Kofi and such and then out comes Kofi Kingston to a huge pop and yeah, I mean, obviously pop for Kofi but seriously!? Like.. the brand split!? Then all of a sudden in amongst a squabbling Kofi and Bryan, Vince says he just had an epiphany and that he is going to have a ‘Wild Card’ thing now where 3.. remember that number… THREE superstars from each brand can appear on SmackDown and Raw. For some reason. I hope that doesn’t happen and this just stops. Now. But it doesn’t.. so then, naturally, Drew McIntyre comes out and starts threatening Roman Reigns so Vince jusy declares 2 Wrestlemania rematches, like just pulls them out of thin air and it’ll be Drew McIntyre vs Roman Reigns & Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship (the latter of which would have been better suited to SmackDown Live surely? As, well, you know THEY ARE ON SMACKDOWN LIVE!).. But then AJ Styles appears on the stage and we cut to a break.. when we come back everyone else just pissed off and left AJ Styles in the ring with Vince. Now, AJ says he doesn’t “get” what Vince is doing. He says this ‘Wild Card’ thing doesn’t make sense (No shit, Sherlock!) and that he doesn’t agree that Rollins’ mate, Roman Reigns, was invited to Raw the second Styles gets a Universal Title opportunity.. because Roman vs Drew is obviously an attempt at stopping AJ get to the Universal title. Makes perfect sense.. Right? So, Seth Rollins then interupts and says AJ showed his true colours last week when he punched him in the face during their contract signing, and the two also begin to squabble over integrity and who is better it seems, then AJ says one of the weirdest lines anyone has ever said.. “If you’re gonna treat me like I’m not a man, well then I guess you know. I’m a man that can kick your ass.” – what does that even mean? He finally then just explained that he will win at MITB and Rollins just disagreed. The two circled the ring and wanted to throw down, so Vince, unsurprisingly, made a tag match and laughed at the booing crowd.. if that isn’t intentionally rubbing salt into the wounds I don’t know what is.
AJ Styles & Seth Rollins vs Baron Corbin & Bobby Lashley
So the team that literally everyone is tired of is now coming out to take part in a match no one wanted. No Lio Rush either as he’s apparently been kicked from the main roster shows and this past week Rush explained it was due to his so-called “bad attitude” surrounding being shorted on money for meet & greets with Lashley, not compensated in royalties for things with his catchphrase on them, not to mention being forced to pay for hotels & rental cars without actually making the money to support that lifestyle as well as his 2 kids and his wife, he was also in hot water for allegedly bringing his Wife backstage (Which everyone is able to do according to Rush and as far as I know from things said and seen on the WWE Network, that’s fine to do) and refusal to carry the veterans’ bags around for them, which is bloody right in my opinion, because that’s not ‘respecting the veterans’ as Chris Jericho put it this past week in regards to the Lio Rush saga, but in fact its hazing & downright humiliating for anyone expected (or forced) to do ot. That’s some JBL type bull. – Plus, to top it all off, the best and most interesting thing about Bobby Lashley was Lio Rush in my opinion. Now we’re back to the same old Lashley/Corbin routine that everyone is very loud and vocal about being bored of. Myself included. – “Oh, we listen to our fans now.” Pffft.
The match itself was actually really very good though and the guys involved smashed it. It went for 20 or so minutes and I loved the sequences AJ & Rollins pulled off together, almost trying to one-up the other. They were awesome together and colour co-ordinated in gold, black & white. Kicks and flips and forearms aplenty and then Lashley tried to do Big E’s spear through the ropes thing but caught his legs on the middle rope and just swung down into the apron, so not only did he almost kill himself, but he gave me something to rewind and watch 10+ times because it was absolutely bloody hilarious. Even Lashley acknowledged the fumble in an attempt to shrug it off and it didn’t work at all. Just made it funnier. So, Lashley got knocked out of the ring and then Corbin ducked a Phenomenal Forearm that then lead to Rollins getting smashed in the face with it. AJ then just leaves and Rollins got an End of Days and lost to Corbin… The guy WWE blamed for the decline in viewership just a few months ago just pinned the champion & Lashley was there too, but Corbin pinned the WWE Universal Champion! I love Corbin and think he’s excellent, but what the hell is going on in the bookings department?? Lashley looked so happy for Corbin though and it was pretty sweet actually. They hugged and everything.
Backstage
Miz is sat waiting for Shane McMahon outside his office.. probably just to chat over some tea or something.
Sami Zayn promo
I love Sami and his new character is just perfect. I was hoping this would resurrect the lifeless husk that was the beginning of this episode but I could hardly hear him over Corey and Renee arguing over Sami’s message. So, what I did gather is that he was attacking us all again and was hating on us critics.. Hi, Sami! But just as it was getting good, Braun Strowman interfered and chased Sami away through the crowd and to the backstage.
Lucha House Party vs 3 Jobbers
What the hell was this? So, during the entrances we saw Strowman catch Sami, put him in a skip & the Rubbish Truck came and emptied it into the compactor. They made out that Sami was in there and yet nobody reacted as if Strowman had just murdered someone.. plus they just put Sami Zayn in the bin. One of the best new characters they have!? Wow.
The match with the Luchas was a 2 minute job-fest where they did all their Lucha Libre moves on one guy and it looked really cool and stuff but was totally pointless and had zero context at all. It didn’t do anything for anyone. Especially the Lucha House Party who got squashed themselves last week by the Viking War Experience Raiders Machine! Beautiful Shooting Star Press from Lince Dorado though.
Ricochet vs Robert Roode
The match is for Ricochet’s MITB place because Rood beat Ricochet 2 weeks ago. Continuity! Finally. I just have to say again that I just love Robert Roode. Heel Roode is just the best anyway, but this new gimmick on top is just the icing on the cake! I can see him doing really well off of this and he looked like a star in this match.
The match was nice. Lots of back and forth, and cool flips and counters and Roode was hitting hard but eventually Ricochet hit a 630 and won. So he remains in the MITB match.
Backstage
Lacey Evans had sent invites to the women of the locker room to get them to go to ringside for her match this evening. They were Peach Cobbler scented too. This was a nice touch on Lacey’s character.
Backstage
Rey Mysterio & his son, Dominik, are walking backstage, but then when Rey went into his dressing room and Dominik went to get something from the canteen or whatever, we saw Samoa Joe following Dominik all ominous like. He starts shouting at him and mentions his Uncle Eddie and says he may be familiar with WWE but he’s not familiar with Samoa Joe & says he will embarrass his Dad at Money In The Bank. – this was okay. Not where I thought it would go. I thought for sure Dominik was getting knocked out and we were throwing some gasoline on this feud’s spark.
Lacey Evans vs Jobber (Allie Catrina)
Alexa Bliss, Naomi, Dana Brooke & Natalya are all out to watch. Lacey won in about 50 seconds. Another pointless squash match then. She cut a great Heel promo on her guests but then Becky Lynch came out just dropped the belts and thad a scrap with Lacey. The promo and fight and that was cool and all but this whole segment didn’t need to happen. Naomi vs Lacey Evans or Dana Brooke vs Lacey Evans literally anyone credible against the Number 1 Contender for the WWE RAW WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP would have been better than this! Why don’t they understand that we tune in to watch Wrestling because we want to watch wrestling matches and stories unfold in the ring. We do not want to sit through hours of squash matches, merch ads and ‘talk shows’!
Daniel Bryan promo
Backstage he cuts a promo on Kofi to hype their title match in the Main Event. He was talking into the camera too and it had an edgier feel to it. I liked it.
The Viking Raiders vs Hawkins & Ryder
More shenanigans from The Usos before the match rolling around all sneaky sneaky out of The Revival’s dressing room. This lead to something I could hardly believe I saw and I hate that I did. But we will get to that in a minute.
Now to the match, The Viking Raiders mopped the floor with Ryder & Hawkins and beat them in about 3 minutes. I’m guessing a mega push is in force for the Vikings then. That makes me happy. Something good happened creatively! Yay!
Firefly FunHouse
Speaking of “yay”.. Yaaaaay! The best part of RAW is here! This week we started off with seeing Mercy the Buzzard eating something fluffy and when Bray tries to see, Mercy snaps that he doesn’t want to show him and snaps his jaws at him. But Bray manages to get it out and, it was the puppet friend, Ramblin’ Rabbit, in shreds and fully decapitated! Bray asked why he did this like a parent asking why their kid stole a sweet or something.. Mercy then explains that the Rabbit was trying to get him to adhere to his Bohemian world view so.. he ate him. Bray says it’s okay, and that Mercy should be able to express himself however he needs to, so he rewards him and says “Picnic time!” as the camera pans out to show various kids sat on the floor looking either really, really bored or they’re all incapable of feeling any type of emotion. This was all so very well done again. Veiled Sadism and maniacal antics all wrapped up in this crazy world Bray lives in. Plus.. I didn’t see a Picnic basket.. so.. were the kids the picnic!? Was that Mercy’s reward?
Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre
This match was actually really bloody good. I liked it a lot. I liked everything about it, the back and forth between them was amazing and the shots were loud! Both men sold a treat until Roman hit a spear and was about to win when Shane McMahon attacked him with Elias! (3 people from SmackDown are allowed on Raw – This makes 5) Elias stayed put when The Miz made the save and chased Shane to the back. Elias then held Reigns ready for a Claymore that knocked his face to the back of his head whilst Miz chased Shane who hid behind a corner Shaggy and Scooby style whilst the chair-wielding Miz ran past. Then Charlie Carusso started an interview with the panicked McMahon and he continued to run as Charlie and her crew chased him, Miz found him around his Limo then attacked him with the chair until Shane-O kicked him in the balls, got in his Limo and drove away with Miz clutching at his Mizanin family jewels. This was good! This felt like the cameras caught some “RAW” footage of a fight and Charlie felt like a real journalist too! I liked that direction a bunch. I hope that continues.
The Revival vs Anderson & Gallows
This. This segment made me realise that if I didn’t write a weekly review here at PWJ, I would most likely stop watching Raw and SmackDown for the first time in roughly 18 years. It was a trainwreck. To start, both teams got Jobber entrances.. botch teams are refusing to re-sign with WWE due to their awful booking.. so then The Usos came out and said The Revival call themselves “The hottest tag team on Raw” and presented a ‘sweat activated’ lotion called ‘Ucey Hot’ – I was literally facepalming at this point, so the story is that they had put it on The Revival’s trunks before the match, which explains their awful stealth escape from their dressing room earlier, and then The Revival started… pulling at their pants and Dawson started ‘flossing’ at the ‘burning’ with his jacket which got a huge laugh from the audience the only laugh I heard through this whole skit because that laugh swiftly turned into awkward chatter as the Revival then bum-scooted like dogs in the ring before The Usos gave them water to drink, but the Revival poured it down their pants instead, which apparently “makes it worse” because sweat and water are exactly the same thing in WWE apparently and so the Top Guys rolled around like 2 kids on a bouncy castle off the stage.. and the crowd were dead silent as The Usos’ music slowly faded in and they danced. Honestly this was horrific.
The constant burial of The Revival because they won’t sign new deals is appalling. Their treatment is absolutely unprofessional and really messed up. They’re a legitimately fantastic team of wrestlers and to hinder their progress and attack their credibility like this is just infuriating at this point. Theadding of time to their contracts due to time spent off injured and their loss at Wrestlemania all add to the pile of poisonous acts committed against a fantastic team who create magic in the ring every time they’re given half the chance. Their treatment alone has sparked a lot of doubt into the treatment of WWE employees.. oh sorry, “Independent Contractors” as they’re considered (which is laughable – see Kurt Angle and Undertaker being pulled from Starcast II) into question. The rise in talent publically expressing their unhappiness & desire to leave, some even asking for release is very telling of the direction WWE is heading in. Something needs to change and change instantly and it’s so effing obvious to everyone, but Vince doesn’t give a flying fornication. That’s been evident more times than I can count. Even with the rapidly declining viewership and the fans jumping to other promotions that are selling out 14,000 seats in 4 minutes and listen to their audience, Vince comes across like he thinks he is untouchable but the ice is growing ever thinner and it seems like old Vince McMahon is absolutely oblivious. He’s had no competition in almost 20 years, so maybe he’s just gotten too comfortable at what he believes to be ‘the top’ that the harsh reality has slipped him by. We will find out very, very soon I imagine.
No Way José vs Lars Sullivan
The Brand Split is literally dead. This is number 6 of 3 from SmackDown Live tonight.
José and his Fiesta Friends got destroyed in a seriously brutal way.. Not going to lie, this was actually pretty damn cool. There was a Freak Accident on the barricade & Gorilla Press into the post a Running Powerbomb onto José and that was it. It looked cool, but in reality, this was again pointless! Do you see the pattern?
Backstage
“Wild Card” is being explained by Vince who is on the phone to someone. Vince says that 3 individuals and 3 individuals only can swap brands for one night, anyone else will be fined, suspended or fired but this week Elias and Shane don’t count for some reason.. still absolute bollocks, but at least they are trying something new, eh? But wait.. then there was a loud knock at the door.. why, it was Lars Sullivan. He walked in and just stared at Vince who then pauses and tells the person the phone that, actually, it’ll be 4 individuals. Vince looked terrified and said “good talk” to Lars. So… 3? Now 4? But 6 have appeared on the show but 2 of them don’t count for whatever reason.. it’s just gibberish at this stage. Gibberish I say!
Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston for the WWE Championship
So the main event of Raw 2 weeks removed from the Superstar Shakeup and 2 SmackDown guys are having an impromptu Wrestlemania Rematch that had no build or advertisement and is not even on their own show.. okay. Now don’t get me wrong, it is so effing cool to see Daniel Bryan back and fighting fit again! His attire was amazing too. The match itself was great and did have me wondering who was going to emerge the champion when all was said and done, of course it would be Kofi after a Trouble In Paradise would connect on Bryan’s jaw and that was that. Raw went off air with Kofi holding the belt high.
Conclusion
1/10 🌟
I’m sick of this now. I’m sick and tired of this nonsensical malarkey that is the WWE creative and all the bull they have fed us for the last few years. They have the best roster they’ve ever had in the history of their company and still they plummet to the ground!? Vince McMahon makes all the final decisions. We’ve been told this time and time again, when is he going to take a look out of the window of his Ivory Tower? It’s not even knocking on his door now, its knocked it down and screaming in his face but he doesn’t get it still. Because let’s face it, Vince either knows his product sucks and doesn’t give a crap, or he’s so disconnected from the world or just gotten so old that he doesn’t have the brain functions to see that what he is doing to his company is killing it. Fast. How you can have a talent pool that is this rich with talent and literally like a collection of Indie Wrestling royalty and STILL they are falling to pieces!? It doesn’t make any sense to me. I respect Vince McMahon and all he has done for the world of Pro Wrestling, but I feel that he has become an old man who is refusing to give up the reigns despite knowing he should. Denial seems apparent, perhaps? But nonetheless, I feel it’s time to say #ThankYouVince and he retires his hold over WWE creative.
Superstar of the Night
Bray Wyatt. 100%. He’s the best thing they have and honestly is pretty much the only thing I look forward to each week now. I can’t wait to see what happens but at the same time, if Bray doesn’t have creative control, this gimmick is going to be ruined faster than you can say “House of Horrors match”!
