By Nathan Bones
Greetings, salutations and welcome back to my regular dive into the choppy seas of a changing World Wrestling Federation in 1993. Join me as we swim to the metaphorical island of episode 5 of the long running cable juggernaut, marking its 25th Anniversary.
In each instalment of this series I’ll give the key facts for each show, a breakdown of every match and an editorial analysis; detailing the in-ring/character work and booking decisions. This will act as a viewing guide and give you everything you need to know about each episode. Most importantly, hopefully it will to entice you to watch along on the WWE Network.
I welcome thoughts, feelings, suggestions and feedback to help improve this series as we go along.
In this episode we’re blessed with The Steiner Brothers pummelling jobbers, a tedious battle royal and a Beefcake having his face rearranged by wrestling fans’ least favourite fake accountant. No matter how woefully poor the show, I’ll do my utmost to analyse it in an entertaining and informative way; as you’ve come to expect…
Now, let’s see how things went down on Valentine’s week in 1993.
Key Facts
Recorded Monday February 1st, 1993
Broadcast: Monday February 15th, 1993 on USA Network
Location: Grand Ballroom, Manhattan Center, New York, NY
Attendance: 600
Body count: 9 out of 37 performers on the show have passed away; equating to a 24% death rate.
Commentators: Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Rob Bartlett
Note: On February 1st, 1993, Episode 4 was broadcast live and Episode 5 was taped immediately afterwards, for transmission here, on February 15th. Monday Night Raw was pre-empted on February 8th on USA Network in favour of the Westminster Dog Show; a practice fairly common in this era.
The Show
SHOW OPENING/PROMO – This week it’s a cold open onto Brutus the Barber Beefcake in front of a greenscreen Raw backdrop. He cuts a generic babyface promo directed at “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, with whom he’ll square off this week. He tells his foe that “tonight I’m going to prove that I’m 100% healed and ready for action. The Barber’s back!”
By way of reply, DiBiase is with his manager “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart and verbally attacks the Beefer thus: “your face was shattered in a boating accident. Tonight, that’s the least of your problems!” The cackling Deebers is chastised by his manager, who tries to reason with him that such goading isn’t necessary. Foreshadowing indeed.
MAIN TITLES – The old Monday Night Raw opening titles are superb aren’t they? Like a cut scene 16-bit video game. Lovely stuff.
RINGSIDE INTRODUCTIONS – Our commentary team welcome us to the show and they run down this evening’s card. Ever the flamboyant dresser, Randy Savage is resplendent in a cut-off diamante Monday Night Raw t-shirt. This is in addition to the neon Stetson, wrestling tights and taped wrists. Very odd.
Anyway, Savage offers that Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s foray back into the squared circle will be the “comeback of the century”. Optimistic thinking from Savage, but I’d highly doubt that…
MATCH ONE – THE STEINER BROTHERS VS GLEN RUTH & BOBBY WHO
The triumphant strains of the University of Michigan’s Fight Song are heard over the speakers as the Steiners make their way towards the ring to a decent ovation.
Their opponents are Glen Ruth (the future Headbanger Thrasher) and Bobby Who. Bobby Who was the pseudonym of journeyman grappler Bob Starr. It appears he was so named on WWF TV as a rib, allowing Vince McMahon and the commentary team to recreate the Abbott and Costello routine “Who’s on First”. Apparently, nothing in wrestling is funnier than recreating a comedy skit from the 1930s…
Also worthy of note is that Randy Savage’s microphone stopped working at this point and it sounded as if he was speaking from the bottom of a well. This render Bartlett as the sole colour commentator for the time being, God help us.
This unwelcome and unfunny angle continued through the show, as we shall see.
Match Analysis & Key Points
- The Steiners were notorious for taking liberties with enhancement talent and this match was no exception. The Michiganian duo punished and pummelled their opponents within an inch of their lives; taking turns to heap on the misery in a precise and systematic way.
- The offense in the match was dynamic and stiff; certainly, a departure from the normal “kick-punch-Irish whip” fare of the WWF at this point. Instead, Ruth and Who were subjected to half-nelson German and overhead belly-to-belly suplexes, short-arm lariats and knee lifts. Clearly the brothers’ stellar run in All Japan Pro Wrestling was fresh in the muscle memory.
- The ending of the bout was a veritable masterclass in sibling synchronicity. After a tremendous tiger suplex from Scott, Bobby Who was subsequently hoisted on the younger Steiner’s shoulders. Rick went airborne, nailing Who with a bulldog from the top rope. This was swiftly followed by a pin for the victory.
Winner –The Steiner Brothers by PIN (3:32)
PROMO – We’re next taken to a Wrestlemania Report, brought to us by ICO-PRO.
An interesting point of trivia here is that the regal music playing in the background here would eventually become the theme to the King of the Ring event for several years to come. The first televised KOTR on pay per view would be broadcast in June of this year.
With that sidebar in mind, we’re met by a heavily hair-dyed and deeply tanned “Mean” Gene Okerlund in his blue blazer, complete with WWF patch on the breast pocket. By the way: if anyone would like to buy me such a jacket as a Christmas present, please feel free…
Nevertheless, Gene heavily pushes the “family entertainment capital of the world” moniker for Las Vegas; once again inviting fans to secure their tickets for the event in “the arena at Caesar’s Palace”. This “arena” would be created in the parking lot behind the casino, with bleachers for seats. Glamourous indeed.
We’re given a quick rundown of the booked matches on the show as it stands, which were Bret Hart vs Yokozuna, Undertaker vs Giant Gonzalez and Crush vs Doink. Talk about a clash of the titans.
MATCH TWO – YOKOZUNA (WITH MR FUJI) VS ROSS GREENBERG
Yoko is faced on this evening by bemulleted jobber Greenberg, who enjoyed a long and undistinguished career as undercard enhancement talent in the World Wrestling Federation for much of the 1990s. By comparison, the WWF Championship’s number one contender receives a star’s entrance, complete with flower girls.
It’s just a shame that the soundtrack in our ears is polluted by Bartlett spouting casually racist epithets and fat jokes directed at Yokozuna. None of are funny or worthy of my repeating in this column. The man was insufferable on commentary and bereft of any redeeming features whatsoever.
Still: we move on.
Match Analysis & Key Points
- Unsurprisingly, the match was emphatically all-Yokozuna. An unholy trinity of a stiff lariat, belly-to-belly suplex and thunderous legdrop should have finished the match at an early stage. Greenberg took everything that Yoko threw at him like a pro and sold like a rag doll tossed from a plane.
- Not content with decimating his opponent to such a degree, the Zunes punished his opponent with palmstrikes in the corner, followed by a backsplash. After a catastrophic banzai drop to Greenberg, that was all she wrote. Short, decisive and devastating, this kept Yoko on a roll and emphasised his strengths whilst concealing any limitations regarding athleticism or stamina. Very smart.
- This was a literal squash match, but enjoyable nevertheless. How else does one book a 500lb-plus monster? It would have been folly to do it in any other way. As we’ve seen in prior weeks, these enhancement matches serve their purpose perfectly to put over Yokozuna as deadly a threat to Bret Hart’s World Championship as could be imagined. Short, decisive and devastating, this kept Yoko on a roll and emphasised his strengths whilst concealing any limitations regarding athleticism or stamina. Very smart.
Winner – Yokozuna by PIN (2:01)
MATCH AFTERMATH – Randy Savage, frustrated at his malfunctioning microphone, wrests Bartlett’s headset away and joins Vince on commentary at the expense of the New York unfunny-man. Whether this was simply a silly angle or an attempt to phase out Bartlett from commentary duties is unclear.
Nevertheless, I for one was glad. As nonsensical as Randy could be on commentary, Bartlett was infinitely worse; lacking the product knowledge, charm and talent to do the role justice. To think that the magnificent Bobby Heenan was side-lined for all of this ridiculousness too. Awful.
PROMO – We go next to the WWF Control Center with Lord Alfred Hayes for a special report (sponsored by WWF Magazine). For long-time fans and wrestling nostalgists, there’s little that warms the cockles more than a segment presented from this location, complete with the whirring VCRs and glowing TVs in the background.
Often these special reports were shown to update viewers of storyline developments from the other syndicated shows, as well as confirmation of pay per view matches. This was a pre-internet age after all…
In this case, Judo Al is tasked with recapping the Yokozuna vs “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan match from the previous weekend’s Superstars. As I’ve already covered this in my Episode 4 review, I’ll spare you the minutiae. Suffice it to say, after being knocked off his feet, sore loser Yoko destroys Duggan with several banzai drops and drapes Old Glory over his prone carcass. Duggan does a stretcher job to boot in this memorable angle.
It’s a very effective segment, making a far more impactful statement character-wise for Yokozuna than any promo to camera could. It sets him up well as a physically dominant foreign menace, bent on destroying the audience’s heroes and garnering true heel heat. I also remembered how much I ironically enjoy Lord Al’s stunted, laboured delivery to camera.
RINGSIDE PACKAGE – Back at ringside, Vince tells us that Giant Gonzales has been removed from this evening’s 16-man battle royal as none of the other participants will compete if he is involved in the match. Another promo package from the prior week’s Superstars addresses why this is the case.
Gonzales was engaged in a 3-on-1 handicap match and when he pulled one of the combatants (a young-looking Louie Spicolli) into the ring by his hair and choke-slammed him. Sensing they may suffer the same fate, the other partners in the team bolted.
PROMO – It’s another sequence of vintage commercials; although ones we’ve seen before. There’s the ICO-PRO one with Bret Hart (filmed at the Titan Towers gym, believe it or not), as well two with Randy Savage: Hasbro action figures and Slim Jim. Considering Vince apparently didn’t see him a wrestler at this stage of his career, he certainly had no qualms in using him as a mouthpiece. It’s no exaggeration to suggest that Macho Man is all over this show.
MATCH THREE – 16-MAN BATTLE ROYAL (Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, Kamala, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Kimchee, The Bezerker, Tatanka, Owen Hart, Damian Demento, El Matador, Terry Taylor, Koko B. Ware, Typhoon, Skinner, and Giant Gonzales)
Interestingly for a battle royal, all the competitors are on the outside ring prior to the start of the match, as opposed to inside the ring as is usually the custom. Upon the ringing of the bell, all the competitors rush the ring aside from Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. This was a wonderfully subtle character detail which clearly marked them as lazy, selfish and unsympathetic heels.
Match Analysis & Key Points
- It would be kind to describe the pace of this match as “glacial”, but in my twenty-seven years of wrestling fandom, I don’t recall seeing a slower battle royal before; certainly not under the WWF/WWE banner. There was little of the character work we see in Royal Rumble matches and as well as its lagging pace, the match lacked a true structure until the endgame sequence.
- After a multitude of inconsequential eliminations, the competitors were whittled down to the “final four”: Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, El Matador and Tatanka. This being the pre-Attitude Era, the heels and babyfaces stuck together, conferring strategy between each other. “Every man for himself” this was not. Accordingly, El Matador and Tatanka incapacitated both heels with double-team moves, eliminating HBK and sending Ramon through the ropes to the outside. Just as the babyfaces seemed to be on top, Giant Gonzales entered the fray with his manager Harvey Wippleman; seemingly a legal entry in the match.
- Gonzales easily dominated both babyfaces and threw Tatanka then El Matador over the top rope in very quick succession. After receiving the requisite heat from the Manhattan crowd, the giant made his exit from the ring over the top rope; thereby eliminating himself. Razor Ramon was the winner by default and re-entered the ring to gloat as if his back-door victory was something to be proud of. Talk about character texturing.
- Upon first glance, the entire concept of this battle royal seemed to be lacking purpose, as it was contested without stakes and largely by midcarders. It wasn’t until Giant Gonzales appeared that the goal became apparent: to get him over in the “Andre Spot”; a dominant giant out to destroy the competition.
- Similarly, Ramon winning the way he did was a wonderfully clever way for such a languid and lackadaisical heel to do so. All things considered, this was certainly a worthwhile effort in terms of future booking and character placement.
Winner – Razor Ramon (15:03)
MATCH FOUR – BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE VS “MILLION DOLLAR MAN” TED DIBIASE (WITH JIMMY HART)
A flabby, tired-looking Brutus emerges to underwhelming crowd apathy. This should be of little surprise, considering he’d been out of active competition for almost three years at this point. Wrestling fans tend to be a fickle bunch.
Ted on the other hand strides confidently towards the ring, trailed by a very apprehensive “Mouth of the South”. Jimmy had been telegraphing his babyface turn since the prior episode and his expressing deep concern over Deebers taking on this match was clear evidence of a character change afoot. Vince acknowledges this on commentary, making it all the more obvious that this is the creative direction they’re moving in.
Match Analysis & Key Points
- This was a stop-start affair from the outset. On two occasions, Brutus faked a lockup with Ted; choosing instead to strut and showboat for the audience. Unfortunately, this did little to mask Beefer’s limited offense of unenergetic strikes, Irish whips and very long headlock rest spots. To say he looked rusty would be an understatement.
- Rather than going toe-to-toe with DiBiase, Beefcake instead frustrated his opponent by continually throwing him from the ring (another stalling tactic to mask his lack of ring shape) and taunting him with the “kiss my ass” gesture. Apparently, he went to the Hulk Hogan School of Babyface Ring Psychology…
- At this point, the irate Ted re-entered the ring with his Money Inc partner Irwin R Schyster (who shoved away Jimmy Hart to get there) and Irish whipped Brutus into a metal briefcase, held in place by IRS. This was a stiff shot and the heat from the audience told the full story. Not content with the mayhem they’d already caused, the heels piled on the misery by stomping a mudhole in Beefcake. Level-headed Hart (trying to reason with Irwin) was thrown from the ring by IRS, as the disqualified Ted held up his prone carcass for further punishment.
- As the boos rained down (and in a very memorable moment from Raw’s early years), IRS ran full force with the briefcase into the prone Brutus’ face; apparently shattering it again. The heels cackled as they looked upon the destruction in their wake and when they tried to attack Beefer again, Jimmy Hart threw himself on top of the babyface to prevent a further attack and attract help. After Money Inc left the area, Beefcake was placed on a gurney and stretchered out by medical personnel.
- The post-match angle was an effective, memorable one. Jimmy’s apparent babyface turn and concern for Beefcake seemed genuine and the crowd were hooked by the story. The fact that a wrestler can get over in one match by (in kayfabe) having his face smashed in by a metal briefcase means there’s hope for Roman Reigns yet…
- Rather than a competitive contest, this was largely a showcase angle to set up the eventual return of Hulk Hogan into the WWF fold. The Hulkster had been on hiatus since the Spring of ’92, lying low in the face of steroid allegations. As such, Brutus’ obvious physical limitations were masked well in a short match with a lot of “smoke and mirrors”. Sharing the ring with a solid, safe worker with plenty of heel heat (DiBiase) was very intelligent booking. It ensured Brutus remained protected, both from a physical and character standpoint.
Winner – Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake by DISQUALIFICATION (4:26)
MATCH AFTERMATH – Returning from the final commercial break, the camera is zoomed tight on a lingering shot of the blood-soaked canvas. It’s a powerful, cinematic image to cement the impact of the grisly attack on Beefcake.
Vince advises us that there’s “no major damage” to Brutus’ face, as he casually begins to run down next week’s card. The mighty clashes include Money Inc in action and a six-man tag team match; pitting the mighty combination of the Beverley Brothers and Shawn Michaels vs The Nasty Boys and Tatanka. Worth tuning in for, I’m sure…
Episode 5 of Raw goes off the air.
Summary
There were bright spots on this show, without question. From an in-ring perspective, the Steiners’ and Yokozuna’s enhancement matches were solid showcases of their respective attacking arsenals; simple, effective and no-nonsense. Great stuff.
A point of criticism for this episode was the reliance on filler. The highlight segments and battle royal felt flat and dull; the latter in particular resulting in a limited payoff. These unnecessary segments detracted from the immediacy of the product and made it seem “canned” and dated.
Certainly, Raw benefitted from a live broadcast and with this show being taped two weeks prior, it appears they were scrambling for enough content to fill the hour. Rather than “uncooked, uncut and uncensored”, it felt “overproduced, overwrought and over-compensatory”.
Nevertheless, the show produced (in the Beefcake segment) a memorable angle and a babyface turn for Jimmy Hart which paved the way for Hogan’s short-lived, largely-unwelcome, half-arsed return. In that regard, it’s certainly noteworthy.
Show grade: B- Slowly improving.
